I spent last week in Sydney with the family and whilst there I made a lot of interesting discoveries. The first was in our hotel room. I want you to check out this photo of me sitting on the dunny, loo, toilet.

Sell photos on photrade | By Sire

Yep, you may not want to know but I am actually watching myself take a crap. Now what perverted person would want to put mirrors right in front of the toilet seat? I can understand mirrors on the ceiling above the bed but not in the room where a bloke really doesn’t want to see himself straining trying to get the crap out for the day. I mean really!

Another thing I discovered while in Sydney is that women just don’t know when to stop when it comes to shopping. The thing is as much as we, as the male of the species, hate shopping we are forced to tag along while they get their shopping fix. It was really quite funny watching all the men in tow with a look of total boredom on their faces, as they followed closely behind their partners, who were so busy shopping that they failed to notice how bored their loved ones were.

Even on the last very last day when we had two hours to kill before we caught the plane, they had to do some more shopping. Thankfully we were allowed to have breakfast before setting out. Imagine my shock and horror when they dragged my son, who by now had totally accepted his fate, and I into David Jones where I came face to face with a hand bag designed by some guy called Jimmy Choo.

Sell photos on photrade | By Sire

I could understand if it would increase in value over time, but I doubt that very much. It will probable just end up in the wardrobe with the myriad of other handbags and shoes. I reckon the shopkeepers were rubbing their hands with glee when women came into being.

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Yep, that is exactly how they promote this so called “Australia’s Most Famous Tuesday.” It occurs every year on the first Tuesday in November and has been doing so ever since 1877. It’s so important that they have made it a public holiday in Melbourne and the only ones going to work are the poor bloody horses.

So let’s think about it, does the nation actually stop because of a damn horse race? Are you kidding, Aussies aren’t that stupid. Yet there are a hell of lot of Aussies that will stop what they are doing to see which nag actually wins, so much so that it amazes me. These are some of the things that have been reported to happen due to this so called important race.

• Patients who have been waiting for years for elective surgery have canceled appointments because it fell on Melbourne cup day.
• Doctors stop in the middle of surgical procedures to watch the race. One doctor actually sewed his winning ticket into a patient.
• Police in hot pursuit let the criminal get away in order to catch the race at the nearest pub.
• Normal people tear their hair out because there is nothing on TV except BS about Melbourne Cup Day
• Women from all over converge at the Flemington Race track with the most outrageous hats and outfits and have the audacity to call it fashion
• Teachers bring TV’s to school so that they can watch the race during their class
• Judges call for an adjournments
• The pubs and restaurants make big bucks fleecing their patrons by hosting Melbourne Cup luncheons.
• A lot of people lose big bucks
• Some people make big bucks

Personally I think its all a pile of BS and the Nation certainly does not stop just because of a stupid horse race. Everything goes on as normal unless you live in Melbourne that is.

I’m sure I am not the only one that feels that the Melbourne Cup is a load of bull. Leave a comment if you either agree or disagree.

I reckon that whole lot of people have heard of the book ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’ by Dr. John Gray and it is obvious that the book was written with women in mind. I suppose the the whole intent of the book was to have a woman buy it, read it, believe in it and then pass it on to their better halves hoping that once they read it they would change their ways. Yeah right, and pigs really fly!

Now let me set you women straight, the time to change a male is when he is young and supple. There is no point trying when he is older and set in his ways because you just may snap him like a twig. Anyway I think the book is completely erroneous! In fact it should be called Men Are From Earth Woman Are From Venus! Why, do you ask? Simple,its obvious that women are from another planet while men are logically rooted to this lovely planet of ours.

Where it is obvious that women think they know everything there is to know about men, it is also a fact that women are a bloody mystery to men. This is a documented fact, just watch any movie.

In regards to the toilet seat, woman are always arguing that it should be down. I mean does it really matter, men have to lift it up (would you prefer we didn’t raise it and take your chances on our aim) so why shouldn’t a woman put it down.

Other differences:

To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her…
A man, of the woman who didn’t.
Married men live longer than single men.
But married men are a lot more willing to die.

10 things you’ll never hear a man say:

1: Here honey, you use the remote.
2: You know, I’d like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
3: Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That’s one movie I gotta see!
4: While I’m up, can I get you anything?
5: Sex isn’t that important, sometimes I just want to be held.
6: Aww, forget Monday night football, let’s watch Sex In The City.
7: Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
8: We never talk anymore.
9: Not tonight honey, I’ve got a headache!
10: No worries, talk away, I wasn’t really watching the movie anyway

10 things you’ll never hear a woman say:

1: What do you mean today’s our anniversary?
2: Can we not talk to each other tonight? I’d rather just watch TV.
3: Ohh, this diamond is way too big!
4: Can our relationship get a little more physical? I’m tired of being ‘just friends’
5: Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
6: Aww, don’t stop for directions, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out how to get there.
7: I don’t care if it’s on sale, 300 dollars is way too much for a designer dress.
8: Its OK honey, you can leave the toilet seat up!
9: Why, I would love to watch some porn with you!
10: Shouldn’t you be down at the pub with your mates?

Come on guys, we have known for a long time that, despite what women actually telly you, women do get distracted. yet knowing is not enough! We need proof and after a lot of putting Google through its paces I found the following study.

It was a study done by Dr. Ruth Mc.Codswollop which found that the prefrontal cortex of the woman’s brain tilted 2 degrees to the left. This caused the magnetic field (due to electrical impulses caused by thought) in the woman’s brain to create another entirely new field thereby creating another thought process. Apparently this 2nd thought process is what enables women to multi-task ( for you men that means they can do two things at once) and for several women whose prefrontal cortex tilted more than 2 degrees, the capacity for multi-tasking was greatly increased.

One anomaly to the study was that upon testing several blond women’s prefrontal cortex it was discovered that they had no tilt whatsoever. The study therefore concluded that this was the main reason for blond’s lack of multi-tasking abilities. Dr. Ruth on a tangent wondered if that was why many blonds subconciously tilted their heads during conversation, in an attempt to rectify this abnormality, but drew a blank and decided they were just being blond.

I digress, what it all comes down to is due to the increased thought capacity, a woman’s brain is always working overtime (ergo the migraine and lack of sex drive for some women) and it is the fact that the prefrontal cortex goes off into tangents that causes a women to get easily distracted. Though women like to think that this is an attribute, in actual fact it is what is causing them to play 2nd fiddle in the business world as the more logical single thought process of the male mind is much more preferred.

I would say it was somewhat biased because it was conducted by a woman, but then she probably did it while distracted by something else.

Let’s face it guys, us poor blokes have definitely got to be the underdogs when it comes to the way we are treated by the so called ‘weaker sex’! Sorry girls, but I don’t care what you say, its damn hard being a man. Shit, what chance have we got when women have it all over us?

Men all through the the ages have been seen as being the protectors of women, yet ever since the burning of the bras we have to be extremely careful of what we do or even say. If we put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you’re considered a male chauvinist pig. If you stay at home and do the housework, your a bloody pansy. If you work too hard trying to give them the lifestyle they have come to expect then we are selfish and uncaring because we don’t have any time for her and the kids. Hell I would rather spend time with them but then I would get my arse kicked because I am not providing for their need.

If, on the other hand, we don’t work hard enough, you’re a good for nothing layabout. If we have a boring repetitive job with low pay, we should get off our asses and find something better. If a man gets a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism, if she gets promotion ahead of a man, that is equal opportunity.

The workplace is a minefield ready to explode in regards to the way we handle ourselves around women. If we mention how nice she looks, that is sexual harassment, if we keep quiet, that is typical male indifference. Shit it doesn’t get any better when we get home either, as we still have to take care of what we say or do. If we cry, we’re a sheila, if we don’t, we’re an insensitive bastard. If a man thumps her, that’s wife bashing. If she thumps him, that’s self defense. If he makes a decision without consulting her, he’s a chauvinist, if she makes a decision without regard for his feelings, then she’s a liberated woman. If he asks her to do something she doesn’t enjoy that is domination, if she asks him, its a favour.

If we appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, we’re sexual perverts, if we don’t notice, we’re poofters. If we like a woman to keep in shape and shave her legs, that is sexist, if we don’t care that is unromantic. If we try to keep ourselves in shape, that is vanity, if we don’t we’re slobs. If we buy flowers, we’re after something, if we don’t we’re forgetful. If we are proud of our achievements, we’re up ourselves, if we aren’t we’re not ambitious. If we ask for a cuddle we never think of anything else but sex. If we’re totally whacked after a bad day at the office, then we never give a stuff about other people’s needs.

If she has a headache, its because she is tired. If he has a headache, its because he doesn’t love her anymore. If we want it too often, we’re oversexed, if we can’t perform on cue there must be someone else. If we tell the truth, “Honey does this dress make my ass look big?”, we’re bastards, if we don’t then we will get it in the end after the party and some so called girl friend commented on her poor choice of clothes.

I tell you gals, its bloody hard being a man. And now for a short poll and you can actually select two answers so that you can also vote if you liked this post.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

I just received this little piece of BS from some ignorant twerp claiming that they are are limiting my ‘access to sensitive account features’ of my account.

We recently reviewed your account, and we need more information about your business to allow us to provide uninterrupted service. Until we can collect this information, your access to sensitive account features will be limited. We would like to restore your access as soon as possible. We apologize for the inconvenience.

——————————————————————————–
Why is my account access limited?

Your account access has been limited for the following reason(s):

We have reason to believe that your account was accessed by a third party. Because protecting the security of your account is our primary concern, we have limited access to sensitive PayPal account features. We understand that this may be an inconvenience but please understand that this temporary limitation is for your protection.

(Your case ID for this reason is PP-136-124-102.)

——————————————————————————–
How can I restore my account access?

Please visit the Resolution Center and complete the “Steps to Remove Limitations.”

Completing all of the checklist items will automatically restore your account access.
——————————————————————————–

Copyright © 1999-2008 PayPal. All rights reserved

Clicking on the link will take you to a site that looks remarkably like the official PayPal site. The main difference is that it uses ‘http’ as part of its url where PayPal uses ‘https’. This is a clever scam as the unwary will enter their login information to access the site unknowingly giving the scam artist all their login details.

Things to remember when receiving an email claiming to be from PayPal.
1. They never ask for any of the following personal information in any PayPal email:
* Your full name
* Your password
* Driving licence number
* National Insurance number
* Credit and debit card numbers
* Pin numbers or bank account numbers
2. PayPal never email you an attachment or software update to install on your computer.This is important to remember as any such attachment could contain a serious virus threat.

3. Rather than clicking on any link provided in an email your best bet is to type https://www.paypal.com directly into your browser window.

Man, am I ever getting tired of getting all those crappy spam or scam emails, and to think that someone is making money out of it. The thing is that these emails are only targeting one particular scam or other. I mean what the hell is the point of sending a woman a pill to make her penis longer stronger and able to squirt more semen. And what sane man would want bigger breasts.

So I figured if I could come up with an email that would cover all the bases I would really rake in the money. After deep thought I came up with this baby.

To Whom It May Concern,

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Viagra: Yes, if you have a problem getting it up we can supply the most potent form of Viagra on the market. If you flush this stuff down the toilet you may never get the seat down again.

VPXL Super Pill: Not satisfied with the length of your penis? Are you tired of women snickering behind your back? Do you want a member that will make a womans jaw drop in anticipation. Then VPXL is for you and we offer the best prices on the net.

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Lottery Marvel: Amongst our technicians we have one who has perfected a program that will help you to pick the winning numbers from the lottery of your choice. Read all the testimonials and you can see why at only $5 a time this had turned out to have the most return visitors than any other part of the site. Can you afford to miss out?

Spot On Dating Service: This has proved to be the most popular part of the website amongst singles and cheating wives and husbands. We offer a money back guarantee of either a wedding date or someone that puts out on the first day.

And now for the best of all. We understand how many of you dislike spam emails, so we have managed to put together the most comprehensive anti-spam site on the internet. For a one off $9.95 fee we will filter all your emails through our anti-spam email engine. It has proved to be 100% fool proof and once again we offer a money back guarantee.

So, what do you reckon? Worth a stumble or perhaps even a digg? Or at the very list it deserves a bloody comment!

I reckon that Valentines Day is one of the biggest load of BS that has turned out to be a really big commercial money spinner. If you were to look back into it’s origins you would find that no-one is really sure to which Saint this commercial rip off day is attributed to.

Some say that it all began when a priest defied the Roman emperor Claudius II around 270. This emperor thought that single men made better soldiers so he outlawed marriage. Valentine a priest of the time thought this edict a lot of BS so he continued to marry them in secret. He was unfortunately caught by the Romans and was later put to death. Other legends say that he fell in love with the jailers daughter and before he was executed he wrote her a letter and signed it, “from your Valentine.” Do you believe that?

Anyway while he paid for it by being forced to depart the realm of mortality, men of the modern realm are having to pay for it every February the 14th. If any man currently tied to a woman, whether it be in matrimony or the guise of courtship, dare forgets to come up with some form of Valentines gift, there would be all hell to pay. There are many ways that women over the years have devised to pay men back for their forgetfulness or lack of romance and these may include the following;

Of course the list goes on and I will gladly accept any other means that men have come across via the comments.

How can they be so cruel? After all do we as men berate them if they were to forget? And let’s face it, men have a whole lot of other things that occupy their minds, like remembering anniversaries and birthdays, getting the booze for the mates when they come over to watch the footy, getting up for work and remembering to pay for all the bills. Really important things, certainly more important than having to work out which store owner’s pocket they have to fill and what gift they can buy to appease their loved ones insatiable desire for romance.

I would like to add just one little thing, and that is if I knew that I would get laid at least every Valentines Day, then I would not only support it 100% but I would also look forward to it.

Actually, speaking about sex, if you have to get a Valentine gift, why not something sexual that you can both enjoy. Then again perhaps you would rather watch a couple of videos, one showing you how to score and the other how to feel sexy on Valentine’s Day.