It appears that Google has done the latest PR updates and they have decided that this blog no longer deserved the PR3 ranking and instead reduced it to PR0. I don’t think that anyone really knows what methods Google uses to decide a site’s PR ranking although there are a lot of SEO guru wannabes who will tell you different. Now I am by no means a SEO expert but I have come up with a few reason why Google took my PR from me.

1. They Don’t Like The Word Bullshit? Get over it will you? That’s the name of the blog so learn to live with it. Besides, there is nothing wrong with the word bullshit. The world is full of it, in fact some people say that ‘bullshit makes the world go round.’ Heck I’ve even heard a lot of people saying how Google has derived a new level of bullshit and are quietly calling it GoogleShit. Just the other day I heard a couple of SEO gurus talking about the ‘Shit coming out of Google these days.”
2. Disgruntled Google Employee. Yeah, some Google pawn is just having a bad day and decided to take it out on hard working Bloggers and Webmasters. Morons.
3. Corruption Within Google? Why not? After all, this blog’s main purpose is to expose all the bullshit and corruption within the world. Isn’t  it possible that I could have stepped on someone’s toes and some corrupt employee within the Google Empire decided to teach me a lesson?
4. Not Enough Good Content? They have got to be kidding. Their moronic spiderbots wouldn’t know good content if they tripped over it.
5. Not Enough Backlinks? This is quite possible, but I ask you does backlinks make a good blog, or does it merely show that the blogger is good at marketing a product?
6. Some Obnoxious Sites Are Linking To Me. They say that Google will penalize a blog if incoming links are from sites that it considers unsavory.  For stuff sake you Google wankers, surely it’s not my fault if these turkeys decide to link to my blog. Penalize them not me.
7. Not Posting As Often As I Was? Wow? That would make it entirely my fault, but I will never know if this is the case because no-one from the Google Empire would take the time to tell me that I have erred. Wouldn’t it be nice if you got a little note saying that your site was downgraded because….. I can’t see that happening any time soon. I reckon the Google bigwigs are having way too much fun sitting in their leather recliners having a Scotch and Coke whilst laughing at everyone madly trying to fix their falling PR.
8. Doing Paid Posts? Nope, that can’t be it as sites such as PayperPost won’t accept this blog because of the name. They even suggested I should change the name. Morons, if I change the name of the blog, the domain still remains the same.
9. They Don’t Like My new Avatar! Well that’s just too bad because it’s here to stay.
10. ………….

I’ve left number ten empty so we can have a bit of fun. All you have to do is use the comment field to add what you think the tenth reason for downgrading  this blog was.

This would almost be impossible to define but I reckon one that would come close is the old line, ‘If you really love me you will have sex with me!’ What pains me is that it would work on so many women. In reality if a woman would stand back from the situation for a bit and think she would realize that a man who really loved her would not put her in such a position. Therefore were she to refuse and love did exist but he let his urges take over in the heat of the moment, he would understand the error of his way and would continue the relationship. If on the other hand he was to walk, then there was never any love in the relationship, there was only lust and she would be better off without him.

There are some women today who figure that they will pay man back for all the shit he has heaped on women throughout the ages by playing with his emotions and giving him sex and then moving on. Shit lady, sex was what he wanted in the first hand, and the fact that it came without a relationship was an added bonus and so she has actually played right into his pants, so to speak.

Then there are those young women/girls of today who believe that a blow job is not sex. This myth was probably perpetrated by Bill Clinton and Monika Lewinski in that he insisted that sexual relations excluded his receiving oral sex. This seems to be the spark that lighted the blow job explosion much to every young males delight. Ladies, I am sorry to tell you that oral sex is indeed entwined with the term of having sexual relations, you are simply swapping one orifice for another.

In essence one could safely say that it is true that man has perpetrated much bullshit onto women but the sad fact is that women have actually allowed this to take place. It is time for women to stand tall and dictate the superiority they profess to have on man.

I would just like to finish off with a little poem.

When you asked me out that day
I thought it too good to be true
My insides all a flutter, I said OK
Oh if I only knew what would pursue

Why did you wait so long?
Why do I feel this way?
My heart is beating like a gong
Please don’t lead me astray

You took me out that night
We had a burger fries and a shake
We talked about the things that might
Affect us and the paths we would take

I can’t believe I am with you
It’s like it’s meant to be
What would you do if you knew?
How much you meant to me

You drove to a secluded spot
You parked the car the night so still
And in my mouth your tongue it shot
Too much too quick it was no thrill

Why must you go so fast?
This is all too new, I’m so scared
I want to make this last
I really thought you cared

Not satisfied your hands did grope
As you fondled my breast I’m shocked
Too much too soon I could not cope
Our mouth together our lips were locked

Why must you be so rough?
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
Please, I think I’ve had enough
Why can’t we just kiss?

My mind was numb senses reeling
I pushed him away and told him NO
My breasts you bastard you kept feeling
The next step not where I wished to go

Mom was right, I’m not ready
I should have listened and stayed at home
I wish he would stop already
He’s like a beast his mouth all foam

You pull away face contorted
I did no wrong so don’t blame me
The name you used when you retorted
A light bulb moment, now I can see

No piece of meat to be used
I’m a person that needs respect
No-one’s feelings should be abused
Those sorts of guys you should reject.

Way back in 1975 Skyhooks released their second album called “Ego Is Not A Dirty World.” I loved that album, in fact I loved all their songs, from “Horror Movie” to “You Just Like Me ‘Cause I Am Good In Bed.” Anyway I thought I would have a bit of fun with their song “Ego Is Not A Dirty Word.”

If politicians did not bullshit the world would end
If politicians did not bullshit they would have a friend
If you did not bullshit you could be in strife
If you did not bullshit there’d be trouble with the wife

Bullshit is not a dirty word
Bullshit is not a dirty word
Don’t care what you’ve seen or you’ve heard
Bullshit is not a dirty word

You gotta be good at bullshit if you don’t want to be caught
If Clinton was good at bullshit his career would not be naught
If Hillary was good a bullshit she might have a chance
If Obama was good at bullshit you’d see his career advance

Bullshit is not a dirty word
Bullshit is not a dirty word
Don’t care what you’ve seen or you’ve heard
Bullshit is not a dirty word

People think that bullshit makes the world go around
When bullshit simply flows from town to town
The fact is we all bullshit
Even those who don’t admit it
We only differ in the amount
And quality really does count
So if bullshit you must
Then do it until you bust

Bullshit is not a dirty word
Bullshit is not a dirty word
Don’t care what you’ve seen or you’ve heard
Bullshit is not a dirty word (three times)

Don’t let those women fool you when they tell you they don’t need a penis, especially not those involved in the Kanamara Matsuri festival otherwise known as the Festival of the Steel Phallus! This is an annual Shinto fertility festival held in Kawasaki Japan during the spring of each year. Oh, and girls, if you thought your guys were well hung, man you haven’t seen anything until you see what these women worship, and if you are ever down there, don’t forget to buy your very own penis shaped lollipop!

‘The Snake In My Pants.’

The snake in my pants has a mind of his own
On many an occasion this has been shown
He may hang to the left or maybe to the right
Beware if he pops out you may get a fright

It bothers me that I have no control
It always tries to achieve it’s own goal
No matter what I try and do or think
That damn snake will refuse to shrink

Even when it was time to take a leak
One had to take care or they would shriek
No more than two shakes was the saying
More than two and you would be playing

I am forced to sit and grin and smirk
Or if I must stand, out comes the shirt
I must try to hide the bulge that shows
Or my face turns red and really glows

I know what makes it act like this
It’s hoping that I may sneak a kiss
Pick up a hot girl to take to bed
So he can bury the exposed head

Ah but his master has high morals
Way too much for this snakes laurels
Many an occasion he thought me a freak
So many that all he could do was weep

Then came a time when I would marry
No more in the pants did he have to tarry
As the years went on things would change
She would think my sexual urges so strange

So in the end he still hangs there
Balls for friends, poking through hair
Sometimes to the left, or to the right
Never quite happy with his plight

Image by dewaldp via Flickr

I have come to the conclusion that Google, just like every other major corporation, just does not care about the little people. Why else does the great Google god penalize the good along with the bad. I am talking about the last big PR configuration when Google decided to yank all the bloggers PR because they had the audacity to take on paid tasks. Shit, who in hell said that Google was the only one allowed to take money for advertising. Last I heard they do not have the monopoly on selling advertising space on the net, although I am sure they would love that to be the case.

Anyway, after Google wiped out my PR on all my blogs, I came up with this poem.

Google’s like a woman
As fickle as can be
Use all The SEO you can
She’ll crush you like a flea

You read all the SEO tactics
You apply it to your blog
Then those Google pricks
Give your Rankings a flog

Women like to change the rules
And Google is just the same
She acts as if all bloggers are fools
For trying to play the game

One minute your feeling happy
Your PR is pretty good
Then you’re feeling crappy
And you wish you understood

Yeah, Google is no lady
The way she treats her fans
Her actions kind of shady
Ruining many bloggers plans

We all don’t rort the system
Yet she treats us all the same
Yeah, we’re not all like them
Spammers should wear the blame

Bloggers have to live too
Paid posts are just a job
Oh Google if you only knew
You’re acting like a slob

We can’t use rel-nofollow
As then we won’t get paid
Your rules are hard to swallow
Us bloggers all feel so betrayed

Well I say stuff you whore
I removed your stupid toolbar
Though my rankings may not soar
My content you cannot mar

Hell, who am I kidding
Please give my PR back
Your Praises I will sing
Just cut me some slack!

Everyone knows that there is a lot of bullshit happening in this world of ours and because of this there are probably heaps of occasions when you have just got to use the F word. Let’s face it, there are times when you just can’t help yourself and the F word just slips out. I thought it only fitting to honor the F word with its very own poem.

The F word, always on the tip of your tongue
As an expletive the F word is rated number one
It’s always there when the need arises
And most times it will win you no prizes

There are many occasions when it’s in use
Especially those times when yelling abuse
Hey, you F’n wanker, you stupid jerk
Come here and say that, cos I’ll go berserk

There’s the time the hammer hit your thumb
For F sake, that really hurt some
As you jump up and down shaking your hand
The pain is way too much to withstand

Then there are times when you’re feeling bold
And tell your wife to F off in order to scold
Now that was a mistake I’m telling you
You may as well jumped into some boiling stew

Perhaps the driver who cut in front
And you scream F you for pulling that stunt
You flick him the bird as a parting salute
And then you lay on the horn for all it would toot

It’s not all bad because the time may arise
You meet a shiela and in order to surprise
You swagger up to her and ask for a F
She slaps you instead and calls you a schmuck

Well that did not go well it seems no matter what
Being able to use the F word is no reason to strut
It seems it’s best if you want to be nice
If your gonna use the F word you better think twice.

Come on, you know you want to. Give this post a Digg, or at least a Stumble.

I learned long ago that if I was to get on in this world there would be many times when I would unfortunately not be able to dazzle people with my brilliance and I would therefore have to dazzle them with bullshit. It has got to the point that I sometimes don’t even know the truth of what I am saying.

Anyway, even though this blog is meant to expose all the BS in the world I figure it would get pretty bloody boring after awhile and it could well suffer in readership. So I have decide to occasionally slip in a joke here and there or even a bit of humorous poetry that I come up with every now and again. For my first rendition I offer you “A Passionate Encounter”. Please sit back and enjoy.

I got her home late one night
Picked her up at a bar, without a fight
I have wanted her, for so long
I could not wait for the last song.

Up the stairs we went, the door I locked
I held her close, I was so hot.
With a struggle I removed her top
I gazed upon her form, I could not stop

In desperation I tore off her wrap
You could almost hear the dripping tap
Perspiration covered her naked form
The beads of sweat visible now the wrap was torn

My feverish mouth claimed her own
The sensation so great my mind was blown
It was not long before she was spent
In frustration against the wall she went

Though short, for it did not last long
I knew I did nothing wrong
For as she lay there, once held dear
She really was a great bottle of beer