I got this email today and while I know we all have to pay taxes because the country needs it to provide services and such, you sort of wonder every now and again that perhaps the politicians are taking it all a bit too far. Could it be that the reason they never have enough money to run the country is because they are all bloody useless at managing it.

Let’s think about it for a minute. These morons know that they’re only accountable for the money they waste when election time comes around, and when it does they spend a huge amount on their election campaigns trying to convince people that they’re really do a good job. It seems to work too otherwise we wouldn’t have a Labor government at the moment.

Anyway, enough small talk, here’s that email I was telling you about.

At first I thought this was funny……

Then I realized the awful truth of it.

Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he’s fed.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think…

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won’t be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He’s good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he’s laid.

When he’s gone,
Do not relax,
It’s time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Goods and Services Tax (GST)
Death Tax
Dog License Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Fishing License Tax
Petrol Tax (too much per litre)
Health Tax
Hunting License Tax
Interest Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Real Estate Tax
Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

And Now Julia Gillard Wants a Carbon Tax !

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world.. We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle class, and Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the “Hell” happened? Can you spell ‘politicians?’

I hope this goes around Australia at least 100 times!!!!! YOU can help it get there!!!!

GO AHEAD – - – be an Australian !!!!!!!!!!

Well, I did my bit. You may want to pass this on by giving it a tweet or something.

Most of the emails I talk about on this blog are usually about some scam or other that someone is trying to pull off. Unfortunately I’m not the only one that gets those emails and so my intention for making them public is to warn people so they don’t get sucked in by them.

Luckily I get more than just spam emails, some of the can be quite entertaining or even have an uplifting effect. This post is of an email that fits the latter category. We all occasionally stuff up and when we do we feel foolish and it makes us feel pretty lousy. Well this email is a list of silly quotes from different people, some of them celebrities, and maybe after reading them you will feel a little better about your goofy comment.

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”
–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
–Mariah Carey

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”
– Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”
–A congressional candidate in Texas .

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”
–Al Gore, Vice President

“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .”
– Dan Quayle

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
–Lee Iacocca

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
– Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

“Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”
–Keppel Enderbery

“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
– Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Feeling smarter yet?
Send it on to
your brilliant friends.

Or in this case give it a tweet or stumble.

I remember well not so long ago when Kevin Rudd won the election how he was the flavor of the month. The guy could do no wrong because the Australian public was so forgiving. But there is only so much even a tolerant Aussie can stand and it seems that good old Kevin has broken one promise too many. Come to think of it I can’t think of any promise that he has kept.

Probably the only good thing he did was when he said sorry for the stolen generation, but that’s about as far as that went because as far as I can tell he hasn’t done anything to put the plight of Aborigines to right. It seems that even though he promised to do a yearly report on the progress in closing the quality-of-life gap between Aborigines and other Australians he as failed to do so.

The fact is that Kevin and the Labor party have really turned out to be a dud. He’s so unpopular at the moment that there’s rumors his party want to replace him. Funny thing is that without Rudd they never would have won the election in the first place. That’s gratitude for you.

In case your wondering how long the list of broken promises is it’s huge. There’s even a site devoted to keeping track of their broken promises. Don’t be surprised if it’s offline when you go to check because he’s breaking them so fast they may be in the process of updating the site.

I found this cartoon that highlights some of the more popular promises, one that I hope you will enjoy.

The thing that one has to remember coming up to the next election is not just the broken promises but the fact that a lot of their policies, like the latest super tax on the mining companies, is doing the country more harm than good.

Aussies have long been known for their charm and all round toughness. We’ve got Paul Hogan and Steve Irwin, may he rest in peace, as our mentors. Our tough environment has a lot to do with it, the fact that we have to fight through through the political bullshit on our daily basis, a task made all the harder by the red tape that we are inflicted with.

Rather than trying to make things easier for ourselves, the Aussie male is constantly on the lookout for ways to increase our toughness, because that’s the way our Aussie sheilas like us. They don’t want Woose for a boyfriend, they want a man! Just to show you the lengths that we Aussies go to retain that tough exterior, just check out this commercial of the latest toilet paper to hit our shelves.

Australians have been know to come up with some pretty good commercials and ads. You may remember the one the Tourism people put out called Where The Bloody Hell Are You. This ad featured a lot of the beautiful spots that Australia has to offer and finished off with a beaut sheila in a biking saying those very lines.

Well it seems that someone has taken it a little further. Just check out this video.

All I can say is perhaps I have a sick sense of humor, but I found this funny. It was sent to me via email and the picture was obviously cropped to give the required effect. I have the utmost respect for Obama and I suppose this just goes to show that the man has to be careful as there will be a lot of people who will try to catch him in  compromising situations.

Oops, that isn't what was on my mind.

Do you want to know why spam emails are so hard to block? Just check out this video.

All through my life there is one thing that I love above everything else, apart from sex that is, and that is a good joke. The one you are about to read may be a bit long winded but it is definitely worth persevering right to the end. This one has to be one of those typical Aussie jokes; As you would expect it happens at a pub and the action really starts after the two mates have downed a few beers.

Two builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a
rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a
stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the
occupation of the suit.

Phil: – I reckon he’s an accountant.

Eric: – No way – he’s a stockbroker.

Phil: – He ain’t no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn’t come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet
he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several
beers get the better of the builder.

Phil: – ‘Scuse me.. no offense meant, but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: – No offense taken! I’m a Logical Scientist by profession.

Phil: – Oh! What’s that then?

Suit: – I’ll try to explain by example… Do you have a goldfish at
home?

Phil: – Er… mmm . well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: – Well, it’s logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in
a pond. Which is it?

Phil: – It’s in a pond!

Suit: – Well then it’s reasonable to suppose that you have a large
garden then?

Phil: – As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: – Well then it’s logical to assume that in this town if you have a
large garden then you have a large house?

Phil: – As it happens I’ve got a five-bedroom house…built it myself!

Suit: – Well given that you’ve built a five-bedroom house it is
logical to assume that you haven’t built it just for yourself and that you
are
quite probably married?

Phil: – Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: – Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually
active with your wife on a regular basis?

Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: – Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate
very often?

Phil: – Me? Never.

Suit: – Well there you are! That’s logical science at work!

Phil: – How’s that then?

Suit: – Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I’ve told you
about your sex life!

Phil: – I see! That’s pretty impressive…thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.

Eric: – I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Phil: – Yep! He’s a logical scientist!

Eric: – What’s that then?

Phil: – I’ll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Eric: – Nope.

Phil: – Well then, you’re a wanker.

FYI: A wanker is a person who slaps the old salami, plays with himself, a person who masturbates. Also, in case you are wondering, that photo was taken inside some English pub.
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