Don’t let those women fool you when they tell you they don’t need a penis, especially not those involved in the Kanamara Matsuri festival otherwise known as the Festival of the Steel Phallus! This is an annual Shinto fertility festival held in Kawasaki Japan during the spring of each year. Oh, and girls, if you thought your guys were well hung, man you haven’t seen anything until you see what these women worship, and if you are ever down there, don’t forget to buy your very own penis shaped lollipop!
Gee, talk about getting mixed messages, no wonder us guys are so bloody confused about what to say and do in front of a woman. Just to commemorate this special festival I decided to write a little poem called;
‘The Snake In My Pants.’
The snake in my pants has a mind of his own
On many an occasion this has been shown
He may hang to the left or maybe to the right
Beware if he pops out you may get a fright
It bothers me that I have no control
It always tries to achieve it’s own goal
No matter what I try and do or think
That damn snake will refuse to shrink
Even when it was time to take a leak
One had to take care or they would shriek
No more than two shakes was the saying
More than two and you would be playing
I am forced to sit and grin and smirk
Or if I must stand, out comes the shirt
I must try to hide the bulge that shows
Or my face turns red and really glows
I know what makes it act like this
It’s hoping that I may sneak a kiss
Pick up a hot girl to take to bed
So he can bury the exposed head
Ah but his master has high morals
Way too much for this snakes laurels
Many an occasion he thought me a freak
So many that all he could do was weep
Then came a time when I would marry
No more in the pants did he have to tarry
As the years went on things would change
She would think my sexual urges so strange
So in the end he still hangs there
Balls for friends, poking through hair
Sometimes to the left, or to the right
Never quite happy with his plight
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
This is just to hilarious. I’ll be laughing about this one for awhile. Great post.
April’s last blog post..Aliens and UFO’s…. Are you a believer?
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I’m glad I could tickle your fancy April.
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Just asking, since it wasn’t mentioned in the video piece, but could you be talking about the Hounen Matsuri festival, which is held every year on March 15th, in Komaki? I know that’s where there’s a shrine to the penis, and it’s made of wood.
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No Mitch, its the Kanamara Matsuri festival, and everyone knows that metal is much better than wood. No splinters.
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Then there must be more than one in Japan, which would make sense in a way.
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Yep, considering some women are never satisfied with one.
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ini bukan tentang parno kan?
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BS Artist reply on May 13th, 2008:
Nice comment?
Translation please.
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Very good poem. I’ll copy it and show it to my friends.
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BS Artist reply on May 25th, 2008:
Thanks Chip, it seemed a good addition to the video. Feel free to link to it.
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“The snake in my pants has a mind of his own” -LOL
great post, and a great poem!
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BS Artist reply on March 10th, 2010:
Glad you liked it Bob.
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