by BS Artist on April 1, 2009
In case you are wandering, this blog uses the Thesis theme, and it is the first theme that I ever paid money for, a whole $87.00. The reason I waited so long was I really wanted a theme that would work right out of the box. Not like the normal run of the mill theme that you had to know PHP and CSS to get it to do what you want. This is what sold me on Thesis, from their home page.
Thesis boasts the strongest SEO of any theme on the market today thanks to its expertly-coded HTML + CSS + PHP framework. Not only that, Thesis also contains additional options that will allow you to fine-tune each and every page of your site. The days of worrying about your in-site SEO are over—with Thesis, your strategy is “just add killer content.”
Not a coder? Not a problem. The Thesis option panels allow you to command your site with ease, while Thesis does all of the heavy lifting behind the scenes. You’ve never had this much control over your site before, and this is precisely what makes Thesis indispensable to critical webmasters all over the globe.
Yep, I said to myself, that is what I want and so I bought it. Man was I disappointed. Sure it was better than most of the other themes I used, but then they were free and you expect to get a lot more features when you pay for something. The thing is that it wasn’t as completely plug and play as they made it out to be. To really get the most out of it you had to deal with Hooks; what the hell are HOOKS and why was there was no mention of this on their home page. A lot of the time you also had to deal with PHP and CSS and that was something I didn’t want to deal with.
They do have a forum for those having difficulties but I got tired of logging on, asking for help and then waiting for a reply. So the search for a better theme continued and after searching far and wide I finally found the FlexSqueeze Theme. This theme was as near perfect as I could hope. No coding knowledge required unless you really wanted to do something out of the ordinary. The following are just some of the things that FlexSqueeze can do. [click to continue…]
I'd love a beer, & that's no bull!
by BS Artist on July 3, 2009
Like everything else jokes tend to move with the times.This particular joke is no different and I can safely say that it absolutely rocks! If it doesn’t get a least a smile out of you then you just do not have a sense of humor. Oh, this is one of those jokes that has a moral to it. See if you can work out what it is.
Two friends meet in the office of one of them, a notorious techno-geek.
“Hey, bud, how are ya?”
“I’m good. Congratulations, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!”
“Well, I’m glad you like her. Believe it or not, she’s a robot!”
“No way, how could that be?”
“Way! She’s the latest model from Japan. Lemme tell you how she works. If you squeeze her left tit, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her right tit, she types a letter. And that’s not all, she can have sex, too!”
“Holy shit! You’re kidding, right?”
“No, she’s something, huh? Tell you what, you can even borrow her.”
So, his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there with her for a while. Suddenly, he hears him screaming “Eeeeyaaaaa! Heeelp” Ooooooh! Aaaaaaah! eeeeeeeeeaaargghhhh!”
The guy says, “Shit! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!”
I'd love a beer, & that's no bull!
by BS Artist on June 30, 2009
Well, the numbers have been drawn and I truly hope that the winner purchased a ticket from Oz Lotteries,via my$90 Million OZ Lotto Jackpot Up For Grabs post. Although I would love to have won the prize myself, just the thought that I was the instigator for bringing wealth, and hopefully joy to another person would leave me feeling pretty good about myself, especailly considering that the chance of winning Div 1 was 1 in 45,379,620!
Still, I know what you’re really interested in is the winning numbers, so without further ado:
Well, it seems that it’s too early to know if anyone has won it yet. Perhaps it was you?
If you missed out because you didn’t get time to buy a ticket, perhaps your best bet would be to join Oz Lotteries so that you can buy it online.
I'd love a beer, & that's no bull!
by BS Artist on June 26, 2009
Guess what guys? It’s Friday and therefore it’s time for the regular Friday’s Funnies. OK, OK, I missed out a few, but shit happens man, so get over it will ya 
Anyway, as usual, take heed of the following warning. There may be some swear words in the following story, so if you think you may be offended, do yourself a favor and do not read beyond this point.
This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.
This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today
Dear Lions Bay School ,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon I am 91 years old and live at the Trafalgar Square Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone and I want to thank you for the kindness shown to a forgotten old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to fuck off.
Thank you for that opportunity.
Sincerely,
Joan
I'd love a beer, & that's no bull!
by BS Artist on June 25, 2009
I don’t usually start my posts with a banner, but I thought this one was perfect as it draws the attention to what this post is all about. Last Tuesday Oz Lotto had the largest jackpot in history, so much so that more people than usual rushed to buy a ticket. Not surprising when you consider that the prize was a huge $50 million.
What was really surprising was that nobody actually won fist prize and so it has now jack potted to $90 million which is unheard of in our lottery history. This is extremely lucky for me as I completely forgot to buy a ticket last Tuesday but there is no way I am going to forget the up and coming draw.
I have one advantage above everyone else because I don’t have to fight the crowds to buy a ticket. I’m doing it the easy way by buying it online, which gives me the added bonus of checking the tickets online as well. No more having to worry about making a mistake when checking it manually.
If you are not yet a member of Oz Lotteries, the mob I buy tickets online from, now would be a great time to join, not just because of the Jackpot as they are offering a free Oz Lotto game. The beauty about it is that it’s not limited just to Aussies, you Yanks and Poms can play as well. :) Oh, and last time I bought a ticket I was actually able to use PayPal to make the purchase.
In case you are wondering about the validity of this site you needn’t worry, as a member I can personally vouch for them, even though all my winnings so far have been relatively small. You may find this quote from their about page of interest…
Oz Lotteries is the exclusive distributor of lottery products via the Internet on behalf of leading Australian lottery exporters, TMS Global Services Pty Ltd and TMS New South Wales.
Operating in excess of 20 years, TMS has serviced more than 500,000 customers in over 40 countries to date. TMS distributes lottery products worldwide via mail-order, as a direct lottery service partner for a number of Asian and South Pacific nations and its industry leading website www.OzLotteries.com
Oz Lotteries operates under strict government supervision and is an accredited sales agent of the following Australia lottery operators:
As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been a member for a couple of years and though my winnings have been small, I’ve been paid on every one of them.
Time is running out! The lottery draw ends tonight Tuesday 30th June 2009! There is still time to get your ticket at Oz Lotteries for your chance to win 90 MILLION DOLLARS!
UPDATE: It’s now 9.30 am. It seems that many people have left buying a ticket to the last moment. It must be absolutely mayhem out there. I can just imagine the line ups. You may be put in a queue even if buying online because of the buying furor. Which is cool, because at least you are in the comfort of your own home with a cup of coffee nearby.
Times Up, I hope you were one of the lucky winners. Check out the lottery results at my latest POST!
I'd love a beer, & that's no bull!
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